Hey! It’s been a while since we were together here. So many things have happened! Let’s catch up!

First and foremost, I hope you are doing well and that you can see blessings in your life every day. Sometimes we have to open our eyes and hearts to recognize our blessings. These past three years have drilled that into my head. You may wonder what I mean by that statement. So, I’ll fill you in.

In September of 2022, I had my first seizure- in Target, of all places. When I say, “first seizure,” I mean the first one ever in my life. It was scary! My youngest adult son was with me. He handled it like a champ, but I could tell he was shaken up. The only thing I remember was feeling like I was being dragged into a black hole and then opening my eyes and seeing him bending over me. Did I say that it was scary? Let me reiterate that, if not. The only thing we could attribute it to at the time was low blood sugar. It had been steadily dropping the entire time we were in the store.

A one-time thing?

Nope! I never do anything halfway. I continued to have seizures regularly, almost daily, and sometimes two or three a day. Like most specialists, the closest appointment with a neurologist was nearly two months away. Luckily, I have a wonderful Primary Care Physician (PCP), Dr. Kevin Lavender. He was the first and only doctor who saw the urgency in my situation, heard the fear in my voice, and saw the worry in my family’s faces. Together, we determined that the best course of action was to start taking antiseizure medications until I could see a neurologist to determine the cause of the sudden onset of the crazy things happening with my brain. After a few dosage changes, my seizure activity slowed down, but never completely stopped.

The Neurologist

I work for a large healthcare organization. Naturally, that is where I sought out neurological treatment. Plus, the hospital has the only Level 4 Accredited Epilepsy Center in the Region. I saw a neurologist with extensive experience and excellent reviews. He never looked at me during our first appointment. He chastised Dr. Lavender for “treating seizures because he isn’t a neurologist.” <Here is where I brag on my husband> My husband didn’t hesitate to tell him that Dr. Lavender was the ONLY person treating her at the time. I still believe the doctor’s face got a little red afterward.

I left with a different medication regimen because, you know, he’s the neurologist. We also scheduled a five-day stay in the hospital for continuous EEG monitoring. The data from this testing would help with diagnosis and treatment.

Transitioning to the new medications did not work out as planned. The seizure activity increased to the point where my neurologist put me back on the drug that my PCP had prescribed. Go figure!

The five-day hospital stay tested my endurance. I tried to work while I was there, with electrodes all over my head and upper body. My son stayed with me the entire time, God love him. They did everything they could to induce seizures- flashing lights, loud noises, sleep deprivation. Most of the irregular brain activity was at night, during sleep. To make a long story MUCH shorter, no real answers or ideas on how to move forward.

Say What?

Maybe it’s in my head. He said that. Seriously?! I still can’t understand that one. Off to another specialist, I go. After LOTS of trial and error (and brain scans), I finally got an epilepsy diagnosis – with a twist. I also have Chronic Cluster Migraines. These two things do not play well together. Epileptic seizures cause the migraines, and the migraines can cause seizures. I can’t make this up, but it is ALL IN MY HEAD! Just not in the way the first guy suggested. So, I take 3 different anti-seizure medications PLUS migraine medicines/shots. Botox injections have been a life-saver for me. I know that sounds boujie, but I promise, I am not boujie. I am just thankful for a group of neurologists who worked together to find the root of the issue and treat it accordingly. VCU Neurology really is the bee’s knees!

So…

I’ve learned my triggers and avoid them at all costs. I take all of my medication, religiously. I have become more aware of my body and how it reacts to environmental stimuli. Nature and I have become reacquainted and are now besties. I find that being outside in the trees or near water calms my nervous system. I am very lucky to live in an area where both are accessible. I am even more grateful for my family and recognize the blessings I have in them. My youngest son recognizes potential seizures before I do. Both sons tell me when it appears that I have had a seizure- they know the signs! My husband knows when I need to unplug.

I worship from home most Sundays because music in enclosed places and crowds are triggers. I am so thankful that my church provides access to the services online. I can’t drive, and that totally sucks! Losing my independence may be the worst of all of this. My son and husband have morphed into my chauffeurs – without complaint. I love them for that. Both of them try to make sure I am not stuck in the house all of the time. Even when it means losing their only days off work, they take me places. My son and I have had so pretty cool adventures.

It’s all good

This has been a journey that will likely never end. With the help of my village, including my amazing family, talented caregivers, and all my friends, I am good. I know that God has me now, like he always. The Bible teaches us not to worry and to let go of the need for control. I have to admit that is hard for me. However, this experience helps me to be more honest with God through prayer and gratitude.

• Philippians 4:6-7 reads:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

This teaches me about unnecessary worrying and desire for control. Honestly, these verses have brought me the most peace.

• Matthew 6:34 reads:

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This teaches me to be present in the moment and trust God for day-to-day needs.

• Isaiah 41:10 reads:

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

This teaches me that I don’t have to face things alone because God is with me, and I can rely on his presence and strength.

My hope

My hope is that you can find good in things that do not seem so good. I hope that you will find your village. My hope is that you will seek comfort, understanding, and solace in God when you can’t find it anywhere else. All of these “hopes” are my prayers. I should have just said it that way. I know that some of you are not believers in Christ. I know that some of you are cynical of my beliefs, but that’s OK. I love you. I believe that God does, too. That’s what gets me through.

Have a great day!